Be okay, with not being okay.

Well if today isn’t the Monday-est Monday that ever Monday-ed… I hope you’re all surviving daylight savings time, AND Monday– and if you’re local to Naples– this gloomy/rainy weather! What a triple threat huh? To be honest… I kind of love this daylight savings time haha– before this I was waking up at 4:30 but now its 5:30 so it feels more acceptable to get out of bed… and my child who would wake up at 5/5:30 is now *technically* sleeping until 6/6:30.. lets hope that stays!

So I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while.. but it’s tough being vulnerable in todays world.. am I right?? I’m trying to learn to continue to share myself and my thoughts instead of retreat when things get hard because that’s when I find that I learn more about YOU guys and get to engage more with you all because you’ve been through/are going through similar experiences or have similar feelings and by me sharing- makes us ALL feel less alone. I even did a previous post here about sharing your struggles.

One reason that I found it tough to share what I was going through is because of this constant state of comparison on social media. Regardless of if things are bad or good, its really hard not to scroll through your feed and NOT compare yourselves to the perfectly edited, perfectly captioned photos on Instagram. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t alter my workout style to mimic others, or find myself wanting “better” clothes to mimic the fashion bloggers I follow (the list could go on and on.) But the sad part is, that even when I was going through a rough time- I started comparing THAT to other accounts too! I didn’t want to share what MY hard time was because so many other people had worse/harder things they were navigating through and it started making me feel like I shouldn’t share my hardships because they didn’t compare to others.

Isn’t that totally messed up? I sure think so….

I was going through a hell of a time with Harper not sleeping, being 6 months pregnant with my second sinus/ear infection of my pregnancy, working full time, trying to balance life’s other duties/demands and then coming down with strep throat.

I was mentally and physically EXHAUSTED, feeling like a bad mom for not being able to “figure out” why Harper wasn’t sleeping well, feeling like a bad mom for being on antibiotics for the THIRD time this pregnancy (I hate medication btw..) Feeling like I was going to fail at being a mom of two…I was short-tempered, super emotional, so far from my regular exercise routine that keeps me sane, and feeling the farthest from myself that I’ve felt in a REALLY long time. Now combine that with scrolling through Instagram to see the “perfect” moms whose kids I was SURE slept all night long in their own beds, the “perfect” moms who NEVER snap or yell at their kids, the “perfect” moms with spotlessly clean houses and who LOVE being pregnant… and.. you get the picture, right?

You guys… life is HARD. There are so many peaks and valleys that we go through daily, weekly, monthly… but its the valleys that make the peaks feel so good. Its the valleys that teach us a little bit more about ourselves and what we are capable of. Its the valleys that show you how to FIGHT to make it up to the peaks.

Here are some things that I did to help me make my way out of that particular valley;

GTF-OFF of social media! Stop mindlessly scrolling through pages and pages of accounts 10x a day. Because as “mindless” as it is- it can also be just as detrimental if you are subconsciously comparing.

Delete any and all accounts that make you feel like you aren’t worthy. Or that make you feel like you need to BE better, DO better, or be ANYTHING but who you are. I think I deleted close to 200 people/brands I was following that either made me feel less- or to be honest I didn’t even know how tf I was following them in the first place. *If someone/something doesn’t ADD to your life.. take them out*

Relax, and rely on your close friends and family. It’s amazing what some quality family/friend time can do for your soul.

Lastly… TALK ABOUT IT! If you’re having a hard time, its only making it harder by keeping it all in. If you bottle it up for too long eventually you’ll explode.

Thank you guys for allowing me to be a little more vulnerable, and to share the not so “perfect” parts of my life with you.

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