Dear Harper

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Dear Harper,

Today you are three years old. I still can’t wrap my head around it. It truly feels like just yesterday that I found out you were on the way. I’ve never been more nervous in my entire life. The whole 9 months I was pregnant with you were so foreign to me. All new experiences- all new feelings. Nerves and excitement (coupled with nauseousness.) Anxiety and anticipation. Your dad and I did all we could to prepare; setting up furniture.. taking the CPR classes, buying you clothes and blankets. Little did we know that NOTHING could prepare us for how you would take our breathe away.

Harper… the day you were born was the best day of my entire life. I always knew I wanted to be a mother- but I didn’t know that being YOUR mother would be the best gift I could be given. I had never felt so called to something the way I felt called to be your mom. Any nerves or anxieties that I had melted away the second I looked into your eyes.

You came into this world so fast and loud that the doctor almost couldn’t catch you— and you ran away with our hearts just as fast. Your first year of life was full of memories, laughs, love and also some tears along the way. We quickly learned how independent and strong willed you are– one of my favorite qualities you possess, although its also the most challenging. Your fun loving, silly spirit was shining through and your dad and I loved every second.

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Your first year FLEW by and before we knew it we were on to year two. Your second year was the most challenging so far. You KNOW what you what, and when you want it- and when we disagree, it isn’t always pretty. You and I are SO alike, Harper… we are both fiercely independent and sometimes stubborn. We’re both competitive (which I love) and enjoy being right. I learned so much about myself in your second year on this Earth; mostly to pick my battles, and let you take the lead. I learned to let you show me the way- Yes I am your mom; but you teach me more about life and more lessons than I could ever learn on my own.

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Your second year brought lots of new things. You started a new school shortly after turning two and once again showed me just how proud I am of you. You are so passionate about life, and love making friends so much. I think you’ve made more friends in our weekly outings to Publix than I ever have! Your social spirit, and also compassion for others is admirable. Seeing your willingness and bravery to learn and do new things inspires me and gives me courage to do the same.

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Not only did you start a new school, but you also became a big sister. Harper I was honestly so scared of bringing another baby into our family. You are my heart and I was afraid that I didn’t have enough room for anyone else. I was scared that you would feel neglected or shorted of attention. I had so many fears, but the second you ran into that hospital room to meet your brother those fears were once again cast aside. You stepped into your new role so effortlessly. Of course there were a few times that first week you wanted to send him back to the hospital (hah) but after that, watching you love him and care for him melts my heart. I don’t know why I was so scared. You were MEANT to be his big sister, and he is so lucky to have you.

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I feel like I could write this letter to you forever and still not have the words to tell you how much I love you, and how proud of you I am. I knew the second we popped the balloon and saw pink confetti flying around that I was going to have a best friend for the rest of my life, and I am SO thankful that it is you.

Harper as you turn three, my prayers for you are this;

I pray that you never lose your passion for life. Watching you light up over any activity you are doing is so infectious.

I pray that you continue to love and protect your friends and family. You are so kind and inclusive to all of your friends and never let anyone feel left out or sad.

I pray that you always want to learn new things, and never let any obstacles stop you from doing so.

I pray that you know you are protected, loved and cared for, for the rest of your life.

Harps, thank you so much for letting me be your mama. I love you so much and can’t WAIT to see what this year brings you.

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